Imagine a scholar in your class or a brilliant workplace colleague.
They’re quick-witted, smart, and complete the tasks assigned to them in the least amount of time.
But, they don’t have a lot of friends and often fail to work in group settings.
The reason is highly likely their low Emotional Intelligence (EI).
This form of intelligence matters now, more than ever as a wave of Artificial intelligence sweeps the world.
In this blog post, let’s understand Emotional Intelligence, techniques to develop it, and how you can have an upper hand over someone with a high IQ but low EQ.
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Table of Contents
What is Emotional Intelligence?
The idea of Emotional intelligence was proposed by Peter Salovey, a professor at Yale, and John Mayer, one of his graduate students in 1990 in an article.
Daniel Goleman mainstreamed it in his best-selling book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” in 1994.
The meeting of two separate schools of thought – emotions, and reasoning was an anomaly at the time. But, by research, experiments, and studies EQ became eminent.
So, what is Emotional Intelligence (EI)?
It is the ability to control, manage, and comprehend your emotions.
Goleman’s EI model consists of 4 domains:
- Self-Awareness: Being emotionally aware of your emotions, the way your body reacts to certain triggers, and being observant of other people’s feelings is the foundation of EI.
- Self-Management: Following awareness, comes the stage of managing and adapting your emotions to strike the right balance.
- Social Awareness: Some people can never read the room and thus, don’t have a lot of friends. Develop the ability to understand others by being observant of other people’s moods.
- Relationship Management: A person with a high EQ is an alchemist who can influence, inspire, and manage conflicts smoothly.
The job industry, understanding the importance of Emotional Intelligence in the workplace has also begun to change its hiring practices.
Before hiring a candidate, their social awareness, empathy, and leadership skills are important factors that are now considered.
EQ vs IQ: Which Has the Upper Hand?
“It is with the heart that one sees rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.“
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The truth is it’s not EQ vs IQ, but EQ and IQ.
Scientifically speaking, the thinking brain- the neocortex, and the feeling brain – the amygdala, both need to work in harmony to have a stable life.
However, it has been seen that people with a high EQ and average IQ have the upper hand over people with a high IQ and low EQ.
People with sharp brains can be excellent at work but may struggle to maintain relationships in their personal lives if their emotional quotient is low.
Howard Gardner quoted in The American Prospect, “At best IQ contributes 20% to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80% to other forces. “
However, this notion is still not popularised.
In schools, we’re rewarded based on how well we can memorize and comprehend information, leaving little room for other forms of creative talents and thinking abilities.
But, real life doesn’t work this way.
Thus, we often see the high-scorers shine in technical areas whereas people with good social skills and high empathy become all-rounders.
Now, let’s see the difference between IQ and EQ:
| Intellectual Quotient | Emotional Quotient |
| Measures cognitive abilities such as problem-solving, logical reasoning, and analytical thinking. | Measures a person’s ability to recognize, understand, manage, and reason with emotions. |
| It primarily evaluates linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence. | It emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in addition to cognitive intelligence. |
| It is the traditional way of assessing a person’s intelligence. | It is the modern way of measuring intelligence and impacts personal and professional lives deeply. |
| Focuses on the logical, analytical, and academic abilities of a person. | Focuses on skills like self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. |
Techniques to Increase Emotional Intelligence
Your emotions aren’t a weakness but strengths waiting to be leveraged.
If you’re a sensitive or emotional person, then you must’ve heard all your life to “be bold” and “toughen up.”
But, these powerful emotions you feel such as empathy when a friend is upset or sympathy for a stray animal can become your greatest strengths when you learn to regulate them well.
Here are some proven and lesser-known techniques to increase Emotional intelligence:
1. Develop Curiosity About Emotions: All Psychologists or individuals interested in understanding human behavior have a deep interest in knowing themselves.
While this interest is innate, if you give yourself some alone time to assess what you feel, some curiosity will resurrect to the surface.
When it does, don’t quiet it.
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2. Live Mindfully: The digital screens have us so wrapped in their clutches, that we forget to notice the beauty of little things in life.
The intricacies of your hand, the joy of savoring food by giving it your undivided attention, and the art of being fully present are all activities that increase mindfulness – the act of being thoughtful of what you’re doing.
The more you stay in the present moment, the deeper you’ll understand yourself.
3. Journal: When you hold a pen in your hand and watch it glide across the yellow pages of your diary, you’ll feel detachment from the day’s events as they get turned into words.
So, write. As much as you can.
In the words of Dan Koe, “Write more. Write for no reason. Write to organize your thoughts, Write to get the chaos out of your mind. Write to attract people to the work you are doing. Write because most other habits are distractions that slowly chain you down. Write to change your life.”
4. Seek New Perspectives: Your ego hates to accept new information. It doesn’t like believing it knows less. Thus, many people prefer to be ignorant than enlighten themselves with new information.
But, if you want to stand out, intellectually and emotionally, you must be open to new ways of thinking and accept that traditional methods of learning weren’t made to make us thinkers but workers who follow orders.
5. Create Art: Art is a way of expressing yourself creatively. You can sing, dance, paint, do business! All of it will help you tap into your potential.
Express your vulnerable emotions through any medium of your choice and let the magic of the flow state come alive.
6. Read (as much as you can): If you can’t travel physically to learn from life, you must read books. The only thing that stands between you and your dream life is knowledge and discipline.
7. Observe and Listen: Go out into a crowded place. Sit on a park bench. Observe people, plants, and animals. Note down your observations. Listen to what people are saying (not in the sense of eavesdropping) and their body language.
This will help you become mindful and understand others well.
8. Practice Compassion: We live in extremely chaotic times where information is at the tip of our fingertips. What makes it difficult is finding order, making meaning of chaos, and filtering out external noises with our own.
So, don’t blame yourself as you find meaning. Be kind. You’ve never been where you are before. Give yourself some grace as you figure things out.
9. Strike a Balance: Don’t confuse being emotional with being ’emotionally intelligent’. The former is a passion’s slave, the latter knows how to use their emotions and brain to make the right decisions.
To grow emotionally, meditate, contemplate, and face your deepest emotions, a practice called shadow work.
Impact of EQ on Personal and Professional Growth
A high EQ impacts all spheres of a person’s life. Let’s explore it.
- Stronger Connections: Having emotional intelligence strengthens relations for one who masters feelings, masters human nature.
- More Meaningful Conversations: People with high EQ or IQ indulge in deep conversations that go beyond the surface level. They don’t complain about the weather but discuss its effects, causes, and impacts.
- Better Boundary-setting: One who understands themselves is aware of when they need to step out of their comfort zone or when their boundaries are being compromised. People with high EQ thus, are at a lesser risk of burnout as they make boundaries when necessary.
- Creating Psychological Safety: If you feel safe to be yourself, and are comfortable with your thoughts, then others will feel safe around you. People with high EQ are aware of who they are and therefore, others feel safe to be their authentic selves in their presence too.
- Better Client Relationships: Persuasion and social abilities are the top essential skills of 2024. In the hands of the right person, they can contribute to societal and individual growth.
- Holistic Success: EI increases awareness of the self and of the environment, thus, improving your life as a whole.
- Personal Breakthroughs: By being aware of your emotions, you might have profound realizations about yourself such as your talents, buried emotions, and truths veiled behind layers of conditioning.
Spiritual Growth Through Emotional Intelligence
Spiritual growth is deeply connected with the ability to understand, process, and integrate our emotions.
Emotional Intelligence serves as a bridge between our intellectual understanding and spiritual awareness. It allows one to navigate both the inner world and the external cosmic reality.
When you learn to listen to your emotions with awareness and acceptance, they become powerful tools for:
– Identifying areas requiring healing and growth
– Discovering your true purpose and path
– Deepening your connection with others and the divine
Conclusion
Emotional Intelligence is the awareness, regulation, and management of your emotions.
Our world is dominated by people who use too much heart or too much brain, making it a perfect opportunity for others to strike a balance and leverage it.
The ones who do so successfully have a higher chance in life of becoming great counselors, conversationalists, creatives, and businessmen.
Learn to master your thoughts and feelings and you shall conquer the world, better you shall conquer yourself.
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FAQs
1. What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to control, manage, and comprehend your own emotions.
2. How can I improve my EQ?
Nine lesser-known tips to improve EQ are to develop curiosity about emotions, live mindfully, journal, seek new experiences, create art, read, observe others, practice compassion, and strike a balance between your emotional and logical mind.
3. What is EQ vs IQ?
Emotional Quotient measures a person’s ability to recognize, understand, manage, and reason with emotions. Intellectual Quotient measures cognitive abilities such as problem-solving, logical reasoning, and analytical thinking.
Best like always